Physical abuse is obviously cruel. Emotional abuse is more subtle and often goes unrecognized, even by the victim. It wears the victim down. She blames herself for her abuser’s behavior. Emotional abuse often accompanies physical abuse, but even by itself it is dangerous because physical abuse often follows. Emotional abuse can take many forms, such as:
Isolation
The abuser tries to control who the victim sees or talks to, where she goes, and what she does. She may not be allowed to use the phone, see her friends or visit her family. She may be made to feel guilty for going out and leaving housework undone or enjoying herself while he worked. He might encourage her to make friends and then complain bitterly that she is neglecting him.
An abuser justifies this control by saying it is proof of his love, or that he worries about her safety when she goes out. In reality, he feels that any relationship will undermine his authority and take his partner away. Isolation increases the victim’s dependence on the abuser for all her social needs. She feels very alone in her struggle, has no one to give her a “reality check.” Some abusers go so far as to move their households to prevent the victim from building a social support network. In extreme cases the victim may become a prisoner, being locked in a room and denied food or toilet.
Forms of Isolation include:
- checking up on you
- accusing you of unfaithfulness
- moving to an isolated area
- ensuring you lack transport or a telephone
- making your friends or family feel uncomfortable when visiting so that they cease
- punishing you for being 10 minutes late home from work by complaining, bad moods, criticism or physical abuse
- not allowing you to leave the house on your own
- demanding a report on your actions and conversations
- preventing you from working
- not allowing any activity which excludes him
- finding fault with your friends/family
- insisting on taking you to and collecting you from work
